When Donald Trump goes on the road, things get peculiar.
Elections are coming and the president is all over the place, holding rallies and talking about his priorities. Like immigration and taxes and reminding people that he won the 2016 election.
“Remember — we won Florida,” he told an audience. … “In Tennessee, I remember a great Congressman Duncan. … He said, sir, they’re coming from the hills, the valleys, people that haven’t voted for a long time because they didn’t want to vote for the people that were running for office. And they’ve got Trump banners and Trump hats and Trump tattoos. …”
To be clear, the congressman is from Tennessee. Trump was in Erie, Pa., when he told the story. And yeah, he did win Florida.
There are several lessons to be gained by watching four or five Trump rally speeches in rapid succession. Well, not enough that you’d actually want to do it. That’s what we’re here for.
We know that the president has a tendency toward incoherence. But it really is useful to listen to one of his rally speeches to be reminded of how very, very deep that goes.
For instance, in Ohio he was paying tribute to famous native sons — William McKinley, Ulysses Grant, the Wright brothers and astronaut Neil Armstrong. That reminded him of the new Ryan Gosling movie about Armstrong. Trump hates the fact that it doesn’t show the American flag being planted on the moon. Here’s what he said about it:
“He’s the man that planted the flag — think of that — on the face of the moon. Who’s that? Who are they a relative of — oh, that’s nice. They weren’t worried about not planting a flag, right? You know them. He planted that flag, that American flag right on the face of the moon. There was no kneeling. There was no nothing. There was no games. There was no games. Boom. Wrong. Right? Right, fellas?”
Well, that last part is sort of useful. Every morning for the next two years I want you to stop at some point during the day and say: “Boom. Wrong. Right? Right, fellas?” It might be very calming.
Trump always brags about the size of the crowds. He claimed there was an overflow of 44,000 people outside a rally in Missouri, which, a local newspaper noted, would have meant a quarter of the city’s population had gone to the event. In Ohio, he said that if the rally had been for “one of the normal presidents,” the audience would be about “300 people.”
Back when we were normal, Barack Obama got crowds of up to 100,000 and people would get so excited they’d faint. At which point Obama would mildly suggest that someone bring over “a little water and some juice.” Sigh.
But to be fair, that was not during midterm campaigns. It’s tough going from city to city, day after day, trying to rally some excitement for the local congressional candidates.
Trump has been super dedicated. And only a deep cynic would believe it’s just because he enjoys standing in front of a huge crowd and making the whole thing about him.
Take that rally in Erie. Trump was supposed to be introducing Mike Kelly, a Republican House member, when he launched into a story: “A congressman came up to me the other day. Said, ‘Sir, I’ve been winning for many years and I’m a proud congressman. I’ve won many races, 10 to be exact. I’ve only lost three.’
“‘I said, ‘You lost three?’” Trump continued as many of his eager listeners waited for him to get to the point. “I’ve only ran one time. One. It was for the presidency. And we won the presidency, right?” Some might have regarded that as a rather cruel put-down of some poor guy who was just trying to get a little attention. But Trump explained that he “had to do it because he was bragging about his political career.”
Only one guy gets to pat himself on the back that vigorously, and this weekend he’ll be appearing in Elko, Nev.
“This wasn’t Mike Kelly, by the way,” Trump continued. “Somebody else.”
Finally, we did get back to Kelly, who took the stage and talked about the greatness of Donald Trump. “You’re the best! You are the best!” he cried.
At every rally, Trump constantly brings up Nancy Pelosi, who the Republicans now portray as a combination of Cruella de Vil and the Wicked Witch of the West. Chuck Schumer gets some mentions, but in a totally supporting role.
The other names that come up constantly are … interesting. Hillary Clinton is no surprise, though it’s a little startling that Trump is still yelling about the emails “and you can never forget about Benghazi.” Elizabeth Warren gets more mentions than Bernie Sanders or Joe Biden or other possible 2020 opponents. And Maxine Waters, the African-American representative from California, comes up all the time, frequently described as “low I.Q.” and “another beauty.”
What do all these people have in common? Did I hear somebody out there yelling “gender”? Throw that person a special roll of paper towels.
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